In this bonus episode of Therapy is My Therapy, olivia and I dissect two of the most common phrases we hear from people who are avoiding doing the work and going to therapy. One is PJJ is my therapy, and the other is, I don't need to talk to a therapist. I have my friends. Sorry to break it to you guys, but it's not the case. However, there are nuances to this and hopefully it doesn't piss you off too much. Enjoy the episode.

So one of them is, I don't know which one's worse. You can kind of triage this for me. And one is very pertinent to what I do as an activity because I hear very, very often, jujitsu is my therapy, and then the other one is, I can talk to my friends. Why do I need a therapist?

Yeah, and I hear versions of those all the time. And I don't deny that jiu jitsu and other physical activity is therapeutic because it 100% is. And I'm always encouraging my clients to move their bodies in whatever way feels good for them because that does have a huge impact on mental health. But that's like saying, well, therapy is my jujitsu. A thing can only be what it is, and jujitsu can be part of mental health, but it's not anything other than what it is. And so I think a lot of times people don't mean it seriously, they just use it as kind of like that it's therapeutic. And I'm fine with that because it's true. But it can be frustrating when people genuinely say, like, well, I won't go to therapy because I do XYZ instead. And I'm like, well, why can't you do both? Especially when you're doing a sport that can be super activating of really rough.

Memories and moments, especially if you've had any type of past abuse, when you're.

In a position of someone else is.

Controlling your body and you have no.

Choice but to literally submit to it. That can be super activating to your.

Body and your nervous system and can.

Create a lot of health issues. So I think especially with athletes in general or combat sports, therapy or other.

Mental health practices can be really useful.

And just touching on the second one of, oh, I can just talk to my friends. Yeah, you can, but they're not going to be able to give you the same level of help. And it's totally different, right? Like, if you get a flat tire.

On the side of the road and.

Your only option is to have your.

Friends help you put a new one.

On, yeah, you might be able to figure it out, but it's not going.

To be done as well as someone who's a professional.

And it's a totally different role.

You don't try to use therapy methods on the streets, like in a street fight. Rather, you don't use jiu jitsu as a means of developing all the emotional skills and all the self regulation, it can do a lot. It has done a lot for me. It has done a lot for so many, but it can't do know Catherine would make a terrible jujitsu coach and my coach, as wonderful as he is, might not make the best therapist for me. Oh yeah, and you are right. Not addressing your trauma and things can honestly, it could make you quit jujitsu. I've had instances where I've damned near quit jiu jitsu because I've had so many triggering roles where, like you said, someone imposing their will on me is very, very scary. And it was actually through therapy that I was able to develop the skills in communicating and self regulating that I was able to continue this sport that I love. And in terms of body and mind, to quote Dean Lister, why would you ignore 50% of the human being literally?

Using that same example, if you want to get good at jiu jitsu, you want to have the highest level coach. You want to follow their guidelines of how to get to where you want to be.

Right?

So if you want to be a world champion or whatever, you're not just going to pick some guy at some.

Random jiu jitsu school that you don't know.

You're going to look for the best coach to get the outcomes that you want. And so if you want your mental.

Health to be at its peak performance.

Which we all know affects athletic performance. So if you want your jiu jitsu to get better, you want your mental health to be better, you're probably going to want to choose somebody who's an.

Expert in their field rather than just.

Trying to figure it out on your own. Again, it's not accessible to everyone, so it's not always going to be possible to do that. But if you have the resources to see a therapist, it's very likely that.

You'Re going to see those improvements in.

The other areas of your life.

Yeah, absolutely. Like when my life is a dumpster fire, it's very hard to focus on jujitsu no matter how hard I try. And it will impact everything, impacts everything else. It's all interconnected. And with the friends, they are too emotionally close to actually give you the advice that you need all the time. Because if they're seeing you undergo something horrible, they don't have the skills. And even I imagine you as a therapist, it is very, very difficult for a trained professional to maintain that level of professional distance with a close friend in order to give them professional advice. So someone who is untrained, I can't.

Be a counselor at the same time as being a friend. So it sucks if I'm hanging out with my friends and I've put my counselor hat on. Now I don't get to be with my friends. Even when you are trained, you can't do it well. And like you said, when you're not trained. I hear people all the time complain about how their friends said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing or, oh, they don't like my boyfriend, and now I can't complain to them about him anymore, or like things like that. It just doesn't end up being functional. And when you blend roles like that, it makes both do a worse job.

Yeah. And again, terrible jokes. And I'm going to close it with this one. Blending roles, unless you're oedipus things like mother and lover not the best blend. Some things are kind of best kept separate.

And that concludes this episode of therapy is my therapy. If you enjoyed today's episode, please consider subscribing to our podcast so you never miss an update. Once again, thanks for tuning in. The content discussed on this podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only and does not act as a replacement for therapy. Although we may share tools that have worked for us and talk about symptoms that we've experienced, it is not meant to be used for diagnostic purposes and does not constitute medical advice.