Therapy is my Therapy
A mental health professional, and a professional trying to become mentally healthy, get real about what happens in that 50-minute hour.

Episode 11 – Am I doing therapy right, ft. Rob Murray | Pt. 2/2

Episode Notes

To recap, the first episode talks about what events landed him in therapy, and what his first sessions felt like. In this episode, we get into topics such as what could have possibly led Rob to seek help sooner, the cyclical nature of our behaviour and beliefs, and the long-reaching effects of childhood trauma.

This was such an emotional, beautiful episode, and we are eternally grateful that Rob allowed us to share his story.


  • (0:00) - Mic drop
  • (1:14) - What could have sped up going to therapy?
  • (3:57) - The home you carry with you
  • (12:32) - Protecting others from you
  • (13:42) - Little people are inside of Rob
  • (15:55) - What is anger hiding?
  • (19:46) - Arrested development
  • (25:13) - Trust from within
  • (32:51) - Therapists in therapy
  • (24:14) - Closing remarks

Show Notes

Internal Family Systems Therapy
Canadian Psychological Association Directory
You can find Rob at @RoboMurray on Instagram, or @RoboMurrayAirsoft on Youtube.

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Episode 11 – Am I doing therapy right? Ft. Rob Murray | Pt. 1/2

Episode Notes

Our mission at TIMT is to demystify what goes on in a therapy session, and to help others on their mental health and healing journey. Thing is, it's not very useful when it's just Tanya and Olivia talking about their respective experiences as a client; diversity is key.

So we invited Rob, aka Robo Murray onto the podcast to talk about his foray into seeking therapy. At the time, he just started this part of his healing journey, and we get into things such as:

  • What led him to realise that he needed help
  • Any misconceptions/preconceived notions did he have about therapy
  • How he chose a therapist
  • What his first few sessions were like

Rob spoke with immense bravery and throughout his recounting of the experiences that shaped him and licensed therapist Olivia provided both clinical and personal insight on what it feels like to step into the therapist's office for the first time.


  • (0:00) - Mic drop
  • (1:48) - Rob's backstory
  • (4:29) - Watershed moment
  • (8:45) - Misconceptions
  • (10:27) - First session
  • (13:39) - Preferences in therapists
  • (15:16) - Skepticism
  • (18:55) - Where to begin?
  • (21:14) - Am I doing therapy right?
  • (30:53) - Where to start?
  • (34:52) - Intellectualising
  • (37:42) - Awareness is not healing

Show Notes

Internal Family Systems Therapy
Canadian Psychological Association Directory
You can find Rob at @RoboMurray on Instagram, or @RoboMurrayAirsoft on Youtube.

Find out more at

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Episode 10 – Slow on the Intake (Tanya)

Episode Description

Stories are one of the most powerful ways for us to relate and teach others.

In this episode, co-host Tanya lays bare the experiences and events that led to her seeking mental health support. Through adversity such as physical abuse, bullying, racism, and toxic partners, Olivia and Tanya examine and discuss the motivations, and lessons learned. Furthermore, they talk about the process in finding the right therapist, and common pitfalls of how people often approach therapy.


Key points

  • How corporal punishment is normalised in Asian immigrant families
  • Loss of social support and its impact
  • Explaining why children are being "manipulative"
  • Navigating the social stigma of seeking mental health support, and the driving motivations behind negative reactions from family and friends
  • Racism, bullying, and importance of finding safer spaces
  • Toxic relationships, both platonic and romantic
  • How sexism in psychological diagnoses impacts young women
  • Empowering clients


  • (0:00) Mic Drop
  • (1:31) How do we start?
  • (3:34) This feels like an Intake
  • (7:49)"Manipulative kids"
  • (9:20) Deconstructing the intake
  • (10:39) Watershed moment
  • (11:33) Crabs in a bucket
  • (18:08) Therapist #1
  • (19:57) Therapist #2
  • (20:06) Borderline BS
  • (22:37) Therapist #3-6
  • (27:48) Stigma
  • (28:26) Closing remarks

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Mandatory Reporting

"If[therapy] is a pyramid, confidentiality sits right at the base." podcast guest Kora, aka the Aviation Therapist explains how client confidentiality is sacrosanct to mental health professionals.

In this bonus episode, she and co-host Olivia explains the ins and outs of the mandatory reporting laws in their states, and a surprising factoid about how Olivia is required to warn an intended victim, in the state of New Jersey.

This was an excerpt from Ep.9 on mental health in the aviation industry; we felt it was so important, it deserved its own standalone episode.

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Episode 9 – Grounded: why pilots go radio silent about their mental health, ft. Kora the Aviation Therapist

How do pilots navigate the landscape of mental wellness?

While pilots suffer the same stresses, setbacks, and issues as the rest of us, they're not comfortable with seeking professional help, because they risk having their wings clipped by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA).

This leaves them between a rock and a hard place, and as a result, so many suffer in silence.

For Kora Kresin, (BA,MS), that doesn't fly with her.

A licensed therapist, she saw how people within the aviation industry feared losing their pilot's license if they spoke up about their mental health struggles. As a result, she founded Flight Deck Community, a life coaching service that helps aviation professionals learn to identify and address their stressors, as well as things such as psychology, mental health, veterans, family support/reunification, gender specific challenges, and trauma informed care.

Episode Topics

  • Why Kora became a therapist for pilots
  • The history and issues with FAA policies on mental health
  • Challenges faced by pilots and aviation professionals
  • How the regulations and culture prevent pilots from seeking help
  • The FAA's policies in theory vs in practise, and upcoming reforms



  • (0:00) Mic Drop
  • (1:33) Meet Kora
  • (8:33) FAA 101
  • (14:37) Loop-de-Loophole
  • (22:16) Memes are the gateway drug
  • (25:56) Men & mental health in aviation industry
  • (27:16) Fly a mile in their shoes
  • (34:37) Written in blood
  • (37:39) Civilian vs Navy pilot care
  • (38:27) Rebranding mental health support
  • (41:07) Challenges of treating pilots
  • (45:00) Somatic symptoms in men
  • (50:53) "I'm the Home Depot"
  • (52:34) Resources

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Olivia Pruznick is a Licensed Professional Counselor who graduated with a Masters from Monmouth University, specializing in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She has over 5 years of experience working in the mental health field.

Tanya Lam is an unlicensed human being, just trying to go pro at mental health. In her off-time, she's an illustrator, designer, and photographer.

Episode 8 – The Upward Spiral

It's all about that growth mindset.

Episode Description

The term “Upward Spiral” was something Tanya coined, in regards to the process of progress. Oftentimes, she felt as though she kept repeating the same mistakes, over and over, but her therapist told me that she viewed it similarly to “circles on a record player.” That is, while similar situations may occur, every time we choose differently, we progress outward.

We also introduce a section called “General Banter,” which ended up turning into an epic discussion about infinity, and how we get mad at physics, so we are coining this one, “General Relativity Banter.”


Trauma, trauma healing, PTSD, therapy, psychotherapy, talk therapy, mental health, jiujitsu, brazilian jiujitsu, bjj

Show Notes

Existential theory on Psychology today
"Radical Acceptance" - Tara Brach
Inner Parts work


  • (0:00) - Mic drop
  • (1:21) - General relativity banter
  • (2:51) - Dropping shit
  • (6:05) - Existential box-related nightmares
  • (8:35) - Post-game analysis
  • (14:10) - Main topic
  • (34:10) - Closing remarks

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Episode 7 – There's no crying in baseball chokes with guest Erin Herle.

The gentle art of kindness and compassion, on the mats.

According to coaches and society, crying is for weak babies who can't Do the Thing.

However, is it really a sign of weakness, or is it a valid emotional response to a high-intensity situation?

Erin Herle, BBJ Black belt, mental health advocate, and mental performance coach, has a lot to say on this topic, as she draws from her experience as a woman competitor in a male-dominated sport, and as a performance coach with a masters in sports psychology.

She also shares her experience in utilizing emotional intelligence in competitive BJJ as a coping mechanism for different emotional states.

And the main topic is a frank conversation about the importance of being trauma-informed in the world of jiu-jitsu, especially how gym owners and coaches could benefit from fostering a safe learning environment for students.

Her and Olivia, LPC, discusses the importance of recognizing and managing emotions in sports, especially in combat sports like Jiujitsu, where the proximity and full-contact can be extremely triggering for people, especially those who have experienced trauma or abuse. They also discuss fostering psychological safety in gyms can create an environment conducive to emotional health and better performance.

For anyone practising BJJ, this is a must-listen.


  • (00:00) Mic Drop
  • (1:55) Erin 101
  • (6:29) Emotional Regulation 101
  • (12:10) Adeline Gray
  • (14:05) The Bluest Belt
  • (19:01) Tools and tips for emotional regulation
  • (25:02) Being trauma-informed in BJJ
  • (26:47) Olivia's take
  • (29:34) Erin's take
  • (33:04) Psychological Safety
  • (35:39) Discernment
  • (43:46) Why gyms may be reluctant
  • (51:52) Navigating rumiunation
  • (55:09) 5 points of emotional appraisal
  • (57:46) Personal responsibility
  • (59:38) Closing remarks

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Walking wounded - First Responders & therapy

Why it's so hard for the helpers to get help

Understanding the Psychological Challenges of First Responders

This discussion goes into the unique psychological challenges first responders face, touching on their need for specialized therapists who understand their lived experiences. Tanya reads a listener comment that reveals first responders often find their occupational trauma difficult to explain, and how minor incidents can often be more distressing than major disasters.

Therapy can help them manage their stress and professional trauma, even if the therapist hasn't lived the same experiences, as therapists can empathize and offer coping mechanisms. The importance of addressing personal life stresses, described as a 'bucket of burdens,' is highlighted, emphasizing the need for functional coping skills to maintain their mental health and perform their work effectively.

  • (00:00) Introduction to First Responders' Compassion
  • (00:17) Challenges of Therapy for First Responders
  • (00:50) First Responders' Unique Perspective
  • (01:19) The Role of Therapists in First Responders' Lives
  • (02:24) The Impact of the Job on First Responders' Lives
  • (03:18) The Importance of Support in Other Life Areas
  • (04:18) Understanding the Bucket Metaphor
  • (05:10) Strategies to Empty the Bucket

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Home(ostasis) for the Holidays

I went home for the holidays and all I got were these emotional scars.

Surviving the Holidays

"This year will be different," we think to ourselves, as we've had a full 365 days in between the last time we endured the gauntlet of invasive questions about our dating lives, eating habits, and political views that is the Holiday Season.

Spoiler: It probably won't be.

That said, it doesn't have to end with you hiding in the bathroom, scarfing down handfuls of stolen sweet potato pie in an attempt to induce a food coma to avoid another excruciating minute with your family.

In this bonus episode of "Therapy is My Therapy" podcast, Familial Black Sheep Tanya begs licensed counsellor Olivia into giving her tips on how to survive the holiday season.

They explore setting boundaries, dealing with comments about body image, and navigating generational differences.

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